Friends and family cannot understand how it has been lately living with a teenager who has autism. I had an experience last night when at the pool that might explain how it is.
As with all in life, change is inevitable. Garrett is 16, and for all teenagers, this is a tough time. We are struggling to keep him calm. We walk on eggs. We are in the middle of a search to find him the correct place to go to school next year. We are tunneling through paperwork to deal with state agencies. Everywhere we go, we find conflicting information. Then there are all the medical costs. Finally, there is no appreciation of our efforts by him.
I don’t know if we have a leak in the pool or what. Seems it always needs to be filled, and we have had a lot of rain lately. Looking at the hose under water whipping back and forth due to the pressure of the water coming out, this image made sense regarding what was already on my mind.
The garden hose moves violently under the surface of the water, responding to what seem like invisible pressures. In the case of this water, we know about the pressure and why there is so much activity. There is a likewise invisible pressure within our son. He is boiling on the inside.
Once in a while at the end of a whipping motion, the head of the hose breaks the surface and the water explodes. It surprises you because this action is impossible to predict, even when you are watching the hose. If you don’t want to get wet, or ruin your phone, you are never at ease on the side of this pool. At some point, the water gets you. You are not successful at keeping the calm. And then the hose starts whipping under the water again.